So after doing this for a while, I have decided to take a small break. It wasn’t something bad, and I learned a lot through it, I believe, however it feels like a commitment to me. I know that realistically it isn’t, after all, it was a choice I made, and I’m just as easily stopping it. Somehow I think that the commitment that I feel is from my desire to write these stories and post them, and because of that commitment I start to feel that I have to want to do something and then I start to lose motivation over it.

It’s such a weird and frustrating feeling since it’s not a writer’s block, there is just a feeling of pure lethargy whenever I think about trying to continue writing. I really hope to be able to come back to this in the future since I do feel that I can progress more, and I want to further these stories, but I will just stop to recharge my batteries and jump start my desire to write the stories without the same feeling of commitment.

Aside from that, my time has also been further taken away by my return to studies at university, and the fact that the mantle of DM  has been passed down to me in our dungeons and dragons group. So I have found myself searching for time more often than not. I’ve been thinking of doing a Hexcrawler, and while I’m not so familiar with the term, I’m using it in the sense that the players have a map that they can use to explore the world and find adventure out in the wild rather than being set on a story. While this means a lot more work for me in the start since I have to set everything up, I’m hoping that once I’ve put down some satisfactory random event tables then I can just keep generating the adventure in front of them.

As like always, I have set up a weird experiment that will most likely blow up in my face, but I’m hoping for the small amount of time that it holds up it will be fun for the players. They’ve found the setting to be a little bit interesting; a world that is only 100 years old without much of a culture. What I’m hoping from this is that they might influence the world is some small ways that will ripple into quite big changes and just immerse them into this world that not only have I created, but they have shaped.

Well, I hope to post on here again. I will probably finish off the last aftermath from Tales of Estrangia and take my break from there. I am thankful that I was able to explore my writing on this platform, and I look forward to my return on it.


Word Counts

So for the longest time I have worried myself with word counts. In the past, I’ve always tried to keep a quota of at least 3000 words per chapter, but this is becoming a burden. I found myself starting to structure my stories around trying to hit that quota rather than writing the story that I wanted to write. Occasionally some good has come out of it by forcing me to think of some interesting plot points to expand on, but more often than not, it becomes a headache as I try my best just to make up fluff in order to fill out this limit.

A good story doesn’t require a specific amount of words, either maximum, or minimum. What it needs is what is appropriate and what the writer feels comfortable with. If they look at the story and it is a thousand words long, but they’re satisfied with their creation, then they’ve written the appropriate amount of words. The same goes for an expanding tale that covers the life of a character and spans hundreds of thousands of words. If the author believes that they have done a good job, and not only enjoy writing it, but reading it as well, then I believe that they’ve hit that appropriate amount of words.

Writing for me has always been a passion, not a hobby, not a job, but something that I have loved doing ever since I was young. It has evolved over the years, but in these recent months, I’ve found the insight that I have cast on my own writing to have helped me to enjoy it more than ever. I’m slowly losing the chains that I had which tied me to what I believed others’ expectations were and just doing what I want, because I want to, otherwise there’s not really much point in it.

As soon as that passion we have becomes tedious, a chore, that is when we need to take stock of what we’re doing, and find out if we’ve outgrown it, or are doing something wrong, and I know I have not outgrown writing. When I think of what I love to do, it is always the first in my mind. Everything about it is what I have centred my life around.

So I’ve decided to forgo this word limit, and this chain. Instead, I have actually found that I have been writing more in a chapter now that I’m no longer constantly looking down at the word count, or up at the clock to see how close I am to my ‘average words per hour’.

I’m very excited to start focusing on the story and making that work. Bit by bit I will improve my writing, and so long as I improve even just by the smallest of margins, then I have still improved myself as a writer. But those are just my thoughts.

At my current point in progress, I’m finishing off the last chapter of the second part of Tales of Estrangia, at which point I’ll move back over to Dark City Chronicles to keep my mind from going stale, and I cannot wait to use some of the skills that I have gained in order to work on that story as well and continue creating better works.

Deciding my writing style

So, I came to this conclusion a couple of days ago, but I figured that I don’t really care about getting the most scientifically factual story out anymore. The thought came about when I as deciding how to write the physics of a certain action in the latest chapter of Dark City, and I realised that the way I wanted to do it, and the way that I visualised it in my head, was impossible realistically. Going down the process even more, I also found that the amount of time that I was spending researching was way longer than it was worth.

So the way that I write includes a lot of visual thought in my head, and by that I mean that generally I will see certain parts of the story in my head and then I will try to communicate it as best as I can in words. Thinking of it like this, I also gain a great deal from music, often being able to listen to a song and then vividly picture essentially a music video, with the fight scenes moving in time with the music etc.

In that sense when I picture them, it’s not really in a ‘real’ sense. And in that I mean that I usually think of something in an animated sense. It helps a lot because there are some things that I just can’t picture in a real sense because I have never seen it, and when I think of it in the other way, I can try to see it in a way that would make sense to me.

Finally, the reason why I came to realise this is because of just how long it took to decide how the shotgun would work. I’ve always heard that bullets don’t actually send people flying, however for some reason I just couldn’t get it out of my head that a shotgun would have a different effect on them because they wouldn’t have the same amount of penetration, a wider area of force and so on. I spent around an hour and a half looking for information while also trying to navigate around any lists that I would land on, and in the end I came to no solid conclusion, and instead just improvised to what I figured would do it anyway.

All up, I’ve figured that, fuck it, I’m going to write how I want, because at the heart of it all, the person most key to keeping interested in the story is me, and the way I’m going to be entertained is by reading and writing something that I can associate my own logic with, and in the end anyway, it doesn’t matter how I write it because any world that I write in could literally be any world I want, the humans in that world could have a different biology or the literal laws of physics might be the complete opposite of ours. Nobody needs to know except me, and if they don’t enjoy, I’m not forcing them to read it, and those that do, well then they get an extra little treat whenever I can give them more enjoyment.

Trying to learn

So I wanted to try and do a small update whenever I finish one of my chapters (shameless self plug here). Unfortunately in trying to do so, I already missed one of my long term goals of publishing a chapter at the very least on each Monday, something I hope will not happen again. I considered too long for what I wanted to write here as well rather than just wanting to put something down to just express my feelings at that moment.

I realised after spending a couple of days thinking about an article on character perspectives that I didn’t want to give random pieces of advice or facts, nor did I want to delve into my writing style on my page here. Both would grow too stale for me to keep up with long term and, after all, this isn’t a website, it’s my own personal space on the internet. What I wanted to do with it was express what I was feeling at the time of publishing the chapter, whether it be elation at finishing it, dread at looking at what was to come, or just mild interest in a topic that had caught my eye recently.

So after all of that, what I wanted to talk about was my path in learning this site. I haven’t been on wordpress long, and as such I quite green about the ears when trying to make things work, so I want to add another goal of improving my sites at least once a week as well. This time it was a follow button, hopefully next time it will be links back and forward to try and make following the writing that I do a lot easier.

My main goal for the moment now, though, is working out how to link chapters together so that you only need one click at the end of a page to continue reading. I have an idea of a very cheap way to do this, but it will be a lot more hard work to do each and every week. Either way, though, this will be done before next week.

So with all that said and done, here’s hoping that I manage to put out more than one chapter this coming week, and I shall do my best to keep up with my new and old goals.