So after doing this for a while, I have decided to take a small break. It wasn’t something bad, and I learned a lot through it, I believe, however it feels like a commitment to me. I know that realistically it isn’t, after all, it was a choice I made, and I’m just as easily stopping it. Somehow I think that the commitment that I feel is from my desire to write these stories and post them, and because of that commitment I start to feel that I have to want to do something and then I start to lose motivation over it.

It’s such a weird and frustrating feeling since it’s not a writer’s block, there is just a feeling of pure lethargy whenever I think about trying to continue writing. I really hope to be able to come back to this in the future since I do feel that I can progress more, and I want to further these stories, but I will just stop to recharge my batteries and jump start my desire to write the stories without the same feeling of commitment.

Aside from that, my time has also been further taken away by my return to studies at university, and the fact that the mantle of DM  has been passed down to me in our dungeons and dragons group. So I have found myself searching for time more often than not. I’ve been thinking of doing a Hexcrawler, and while I’m not so familiar with the term, I’m using it in the sense that the players have a map that they can use to explore the world and find adventure out in the wild rather than being set on a story. While this means a lot more work for me in the start since I have to set everything up, I’m hoping that once I’ve put down some satisfactory random event tables then I can just keep generating the adventure in front of them.

As like always, I have set up a weird experiment that will most likely blow up in my face, but I’m hoping for the small amount of time that it holds up it will be fun for the players. They’ve found the setting to be a little bit interesting; a world that is only 100 years old without much of a culture. What I’m hoping from this is that they might influence the world is some small ways that will ripple into quite big changes and just immerse them into this world that not only have I created, but they have shaped.

Well, I hope to post on here again. I will probably finish off the last aftermath from Tales of Estrangia and take my break from there. I am thankful that I was able to explore my writing on this platform, and I look forward to my return on it.


Deciding my writing style

So, I came to this conclusion a couple of days ago, but I figured that I don’t really care about getting the most scientifically factual story out anymore. The thought came about when I as deciding how to write the physics of a certain action in the latest chapter of Dark City, and I realised that the way I wanted to do it, and the way that I visualised it in my head, was impossible realistically. Going down the process even more, I also found that the amount of time that I was spending researching was way longer than it was worth.

So the way that I write includes a lot of visual thought in my head, and by that I mean that generally I will see certain parts of the story in my head and then I will try to communicate it as best as I can in words. Thinking of it like this, I also gain a great deal from music, often being able to listen to a song and then vividly picture essentially a music video, with the fight scenes moving in time with the music etc.

In that sense when I picture them, it’s not really in a ‘real’ sense. And in that I mean that I usually think of something in an animated sense. It helps a lot because there are some things that I just can’t picture in a real sense because I have never seen it, and when I think of it in the other way, I can try to see it in a way that would make sense to me.

Finally, the reason why I came to realise this is because of just how long it took to decide how the shotgun would work. I’ve always heard that bullets don’t actually send people flying, however for some reason I just couldn’t get it out of my head that a shotgun would have a different effect on them because they wouldn’t have the same amount of penetration, a wider area of force and so on. I spent around an hour and a half looking for information while also trying to navigate around any lists that I would land on, and in the end I came to no solid conclusion, and instead just improvised to what I figured would do it anyway.

All up, I’ve figured that, fuck it, I’m going to write how I want, because at the heart of it all, the person most key to keeping interested in the story is me, and the way I’m going to be entertained is by reading and writing something that I can associate my own logic with, and in the end anyway, it doesn’t matter how I write it because any world that I write in could literally be any world I want, the humans in that world could have a different biology or the literal laws of physics might be the complete opposite of ours. Nobody needs to know except me, and if they don’t enjoy, I’m not forcing them to read it, and those that do, well then they get an extra little treat whenever I can give them more enjoyment.


So I haven’t been as active as I would have liked to have been over the past few weeks. I’ve noticed that I keep saying I want to post more etc. but when it comes down to it, I just keep finding a lack of motivation. I don’t know why but whenever I sit down to just get stuff done I always find myself looking for something to distract myself with, which is pretty annoying since I don’t want to, but something in my head just doesn’t want to do work. It is an issue that I need to work through, and I will in time, but at the moment I just wanted to explain why I hadn’t been as active as promised.

Though with that all done I wanted to continue on with something a lot more lighthearted, like the dungeons and dragons campaign I was DMing for my friends. So far I believe it has been going well, everyone is enjoying themselves and they have been moving along the campaign relatively smoothly. I have found that they’re a lot more orientated to fighting battles rather than negotiating and such, but I hope to change that slowly as they get used to the game since for half of them this is the first campaign they’ve actually played. Either way, I just want to make it as enjoyable as possible for them while still keeping it challenging enough to make them care about the safety of their characters rather than just running in mindlessly.

That being said, the previous session was a little… odd. It wasn’t really bad, got a good little bit of plot development and highlighting some certain issues that need to be addressed. One of them was cursed by a cult and he’s starting to succumb to it, which is very interesting to see him act true to a character rather than just acting as the player would. It makes for a very fun session as I try my damnedest to pull him down into the darkness while everyone else around the table just give cries of anguish as they watch the inevitable unfold before them. The odd part about it, though, was that they made close to zero progress. And this wasn’t because they were  having a character building session, but because they literally walked in a circle.

You see, the area that they are in at the moment is a cursed forest which is layered in four stages. The session before they had made it to the second stage and camped there. Unfortunately before night fell, two of them wanted to go hunting… in a cursed forest. As you might be able to guess it didn’t turn out so well. I rolled an encounter, which was a swarm of corrupted Ravens, who had a random modifier of being covered in spines that hurt the players as they attacked them. A chase ensued during which they fell into a puddle because of a large amount of continuous failed skill checks.

After that they slept for the night,  had an encounter since they slept in a dangerous area when they woke up before going backwards in order to find an NPC which they felt they needed the help from in order to find the location of the object they were searching for. Now that they are back on track, though, it will be very interesting to see how they deal with the more dangerous corrupted creatures now that they’re heading into the deeper parts of the forest.

Aside from that, though, I think I’m all done for now. Feels good once in a while to just explain happenings and to rationalise it in  my own mind. Maybe sometime soon I’ll put down some more thoughts on the world that they’re adventuring in just to help myself flesh it  out a bit more, or I might even talk about my plans for some future adventures for when they’re finished with this one since I believe it will actually be finishing up soon. Level 4 being the benchmark for when they should finish.

So I was gone for a while

This one will probably be pretty short, but I just wanted to explain myself on why I didn’t upload last week. I’m not sure what caused it, but I had a severe case of zero motivation where I just felt no desire to write at all during the week. I managed to shake myself out of it, and uploaded two chapters to make up for it, but I’m still slightly feeling the effects. I’m hoping just pushing myself to write will push my motivation up again.

The other reason why I didn’t upload yesterday was because I also saw my brother off at the airport as he left to go on his trip around England and Europe. So that was fun. Aside from that, there’s not much else to report other than since I have finished the first arc of Estrangia, I’ll be working on Dark City for a bit, if I decide to call it that. So that should be fun and refreshing. Until the next time I guess.


(And link to the story)